Sewing drama

DH's mom had surgery on her knee last night and will be out of commission for awhile. So we went over to drop off a massive bag of frozen meatballs I'd made so she won't have to worry about preparing meals or whatever.
While we were there, ON OUR MISSION OF MERCY, his mom told him that it was time that I asked her if she needed the sewing machine that I'd borrowed back.
(NOTE: I'd told her to just let me know when she needed it back and I'd be sure to get it back to her promptly.)
DH: "Oh, do you need it back? I'm sure Kate can bring it over tomorrow?"
DH's mom: "Oh, no, I don't need it back. It's just time she asked if I needed it back."
DH: "But you don't want it back?"
DH's mom: "No, it's just time she asked me if I needed it back."

I just kept telling DH, "I don't understand. I don't understand!"
And he kept just saying, "It's not you. She's crazy."
Me: "I'll give it back to her tomorrow!"
DH: "She doesn't want it back, she wants you to ask if she wants it back."
Me: "But I don't understand."
DH: "You're so naïve! You're so sweet! But you're SO NAÏVE!"
Me: "My family is so much easier to get along with!"
DH: "No, your family is crazy too, it's just different crazy."

When DH took the machine back today and she was all, "Did you correctly convey my message to Kate? I wanted to know what her intentions were."
And I was like, "Um, dude, I was going to borrow it until I got one of my own or until she wanted it back. What else was I going to do with it? Pawn it for crack money??"