Toxic

We all like things that aren't good for us if we indulge too often: chocolate, TV, video games, etc.
And, of course, some friends.
Many of us probably pride ourselves on not liking people who are bad for us. We counsel our friends who are in bad relationships to get out of them. We avoid the lazy co-worker who gets no respect from the bosses lest we're tainted. We treat people who treat us poorly as though they are plague patients.
But disconnecting from a friend you've just realized is toxic?
At first, it was a kick (bordering on novelty) hanging out with her: going to bars at the last minute, talking to guys, staying at bars till the last minute, etc.
It was bizarre yet interesting to hear her talk about her conquests, man after man after married man (and dear lord, were there ever a lot).
But she slowly started burning her currency with us.
We noticed that every story she told was about herself (unless it was wildly blown-out-of-proportion gossip). She hijacked stories we tried to share about what was going on in our lives to tell stories about herself.
She would call us only when she needed something.
We never really talked when we went out. My friends and I were merely the audience for her one-woman show apparently titled "MLS Wants to Get Laid."
And when she was dating a man all of us told her to dump because he treated her like dirt, she kept dating him, all the while complaining about how poorly he treated her, because she'd "invested too much time in it."
A valid concern, and a common excuse used by people afraid to be alone.
But having us call him for you when he didn't call you for three days in a row? And when he didn't show up the evening the two of you were supposed to take a pregnancy test because you thought you were knocked up with his spawn?
I just didn't want to hang out with her anymore.
So I didn't.
One of the luxuries of getting older/more mature is that you become less concerned with what people think of you and more concerned with having as much fun as you can with the time you have left.
Last night, she called me for the first time in months.
She: What are you doing?
Me: Playing a game, and waiting for a friend to call. We're going out.
She: Oh.
And after some inconsequential conversation, we hang up.
This morning, she comes into work complaining about how everybody's being mean to her.
(One Stop Weird Shoppe note: It turns out she'd called another friend who, seeing that it was she, didn't answer his phone. He works in the same office she works in, so he tired of her even before I did.)
(One Stop Weird Shoppe note 2: It also turns out she had gone out of her way to be rude to another friend just this morning, asking her how she was doing, then turning and walking away before the friend could answer. So, consider the source.)
Then, she sends me a self-pitying e-mail saying she was sorry to interrupt me last night, that she'd only called to get directions to this place in Hollywood.
Guess what, you're not really making a case for being a good friend. Calling just because you want something is still just plain ol' selfish.
We all like a little drama in our lives. Used sparingly, it can spice up life and get your blood pumping, making you look forward to the next twist in the road.
But this girl craves the damage chaos creates.
And I'm staying out of the path of destruction.